Zere is a story zey tell ze American children. Eet is a story about a man wiz a kite, and somesing called ze "Boston Tea Party," and a tall man wiz wooden teesh on a 'orse. Zis story is, comment dirais-je, incomplete. Eet is missing one detail. Ze detail is zat none of zis would 'ave 'appened wizout a Frenchman.
'Is name was François Joseph Paul, le comte de Grasse. In ze year 1781 'e brought twenty-eight ships of ze line to ze mouth of ze Chesapeake Bay. Ze British 'ad nineteen ships. Ze maths is simple — twenty-eight is more zan nineteen. Ze British were defeated. Ze army of Lord Cornwallis was trapped at Yorktown. Quinze jours later, 'e surrendered.
Zis is 'ow America became a country. Not because of a kite. Not because of a tea party. Because a Frenchman wiz twenty-eight ships decided eet would be amusing to embarrass ze British in zeir own colonies.
Et qu'est-ce que les Américains ont fait? Zey built a column for Nelson. Zey put 'is face on ze money. Zey nevair built a column for de Grasse. Zere is no statue. Zere is no monument. Zere is no 'oliday. Ze man 'oo gave America to ze Americans is buried in a small church in Tilly-sur-Seulles and almost nobody visits.
Zis is why I take 'is name as my own when I sail. I am not ze admiral of ze United States Navy. I am not ze admiral of NATO. I am Ze Admiral, in ze tradition of de Grasse. And every time I see ze American flag, I sink — vous êtes les bienvenus. You are welcome. Pas de problème.
Petit François 'as nevair been to Yorktown. But 'e knows.